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Visitors' Stories -- Maxine's Story (page 5)DAY EIGHT Thursday 25 January Well, no more being waited on by Paul. He had decided that I was now fully capable of lifting the kettle and other light household chores. There was hardly any pain now - and that was localised to the incision areas. I had noticed today that I was walking with much more of an upright posture. My breasts seemed to have settled to a more manageable size although the damn bra was getting on my nerves. - was I really supposed to keep wearing it for the next 5 weeks? Stitches were coming out in a week's time - perhaps that would make me feel more comfortable -. perhaps then I would be able to indulge in a relaxing bath or perhaps a refreshing shower. Still couldn't do either of those due to the bandaging on my front which came down to my naval and which was not to get wet!! I felt fed up today although I have been out and about to the dentist. I had been thinking about the scars and how they would look. I was still feeling queasy whenever I thought about the operation and the stitches in my breasts. In another week I would be able to drive again. I certainly couldn't have imagined that last weekend!! Paul was still scared to go near my new breasts for fear of hurting me although he did attempt to with a little more frequency now. DAYS TEN TO THIRTEEN Sat - Tues 27/28/29/30 January I had had enough of wearing that sports bra - could you imagine wearing one all this time - for 24 hours each day. On Saturday I swapped for another sports bra - more of a vest top than a bra with no fasteners on the back. It felt so much more comfortable and even gave me a more feminine shape - my breasts were starting to look more like rounded breasts rather than rigid rockets!! My breasts, although still very swollen, were gradually reducing in size. They were still tender but not really painful at all. My recovery during the first five days was very noticeable but now it seemed to have reached a plateau and nothing noticeable was happening. DAY FOURTEEN Wed 31 January Worried about how my scars would look - stitches coming out tomorrow. For the past two weeks most of my breasts had been untouched and covered with bandages. I had no idea what they would look like. I was getting very scared. I made myself feel queasy and faint just thinking about it. I couldn't wait to get the bandages off and see the shape of my new breasts. DAY FIFTEEN Thursday 1 February I arrived at the hospital before the surgeon so a nurse removed my stitches. The stitches in my left breast were removed first and I was pleasantly surprised to find that it didn't hurt at all - there was just a slight itchy feeling. The same was not true for my right breast. The wound was not as well healed as the left breast and there was a lot of blood on the dressing. When the nurse pulled on the stitches I experienced an extremely painful burning, sore sensation. It must have taken only a couple of seconds but it seemed to last forever. Even when the stitches were well and truly out the pain still remained. Paul took some more photographs and I replaced my top - we returned to the waiting room although this time I was not wearing a bra and the sensation was strange. At this stage I still had not looked at my breasts or the scars. I sat there with my arms folded under my breasts to provide some support. At 2.30pm the surgeon eventually arrived - he was late and keen to get on. He had patients waiting for surgery - just like I was this time two weeks ago. I removed my top and lay on the bed again. I carefully scrutinised the expression on the surgeon's face as he looked at my breasts and wounds - he was pleased and I felt relieved. I jokingly remarked to the surgeon that his hands were as cold as ice and he stopped examining my breasts for a while as he tried to warm his hands by rubbing them together. I was then asked to stand in front of the mirror and take a good look. "Don't they look great", stated the surgeon. Just like the day after the operation, I did not want to look - despite having looked forward to this moment. My heart dropped as I saw myself in the mirror. My breasts were so huge and they didn't look a natural shape. I knew they were false and as far as I was concerned they looked false. The scar on my left breast was amazing - a perfectly straight, thin line that lay in the natural crease under my breast. I could hardly even see it. Why, why then was the scar on my right breast so big and ugly? It wasn't a straight line, it was jagged. It was almost twice as thick as the scar on the left breast and it seemed to be much higher and away from my natural crease. I was glad to move away from the mirror and lay back down on the bed. My head was spinning - had I caused the scar on my right breast to worsen when I awoke in the night coughing and nearly passed out in the bathroom? The surgeon told me that in his opinion, considering only two weeks had passed since surgery, the scars were normal and healing well, the left breast in particular. He then asked me if I was a right handed person - I am. I was then told that each breast is completely independent of the other and, as such, each would have different healing processes. The fact that I am right handed meant that I used the right side of my body far more frequently than my left, causing the right scar to have received less rest than the left. The surgeon also explained that my breasts were still very swollen and hard and that they would remain so for another four to six weeks more. As the swelling reduces so my breasts would take on a more natural shape and so the scars would drop. The surgeon then placed a thin supportive patch over each scar - thankfully his hands were a bit warmer at this point! I had to leave these patches on for the next three days and then to apply Vitamin E cream three times daily until my next appointment with him in eight weeks' time. I had also to continue to apply moisturiser to my whole breast area just as I had been every day since the operation - only now, with the bandages off, I had more surface area to cover! Within 20 minutes the consultation was over and we were free to leave. I remained very quiet during the journey home - my head spinning with facts, doubts and anticipation. It had been quite a shock to stand in front of the mirror and see myself like that. My physical appearance had changed and I now realised that I hadn't given a lot of thought as to how it would affect me. I had always expected to be instantly delighted and was not prepared for this feeling of anxiety. As we got nearer to home I turned my thoughts to more cheerful things - tonight I would be able to have a proper relaxing hot bath without any bandaging to worry about. Just the thought of being able to lie back in the hot water brought a smile to my face, two weeks without that luxury had been very unpleasant. Another benefit gained today is that I was now permitted to drive my beloved car which had been sitting neglected for the past two weeks, I hoped it would start okay! DAY SIXTEEN Friday 2 February Being able to bathe properly and wash my own hair again made a big difference to the way I felt - I actually felt attractive once more and that night I decided to try on some of the sexy little party dresses from my wardrobe.
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